Have you ever had a profound moment of clarity and put pen to paper; only to be possessed by a slur of words that jumbled from your preferred writing utensil, like a rapidly flowing river, yet end as quickly as they began? Are you left panting like a dog with shaking hand; feeling like you had a divine message to scribble down? Feverishly, frantically, as if your hand were being swayed and your body was overcome with an urgency to obey? Alas only to have the message end in a grandiose statement that you were slightly unaware you had written. You sit left quite stupefied as if you were racing towards something and then hit a brick wall. When you read what you have written it is something prophet like, clairvoyant, deep and somewhat biblical. Perhaps you are not even an avid reader of the Bible and so to have something come out of the depths of your being that sounds as if a God has coerced you into writing such statements, could be likened to the 10 commandments and Moses. With a divine message that doesn’t quite sound like you, but is concise and has an important message that you know in your heart and mind to be absolutely true.
I don’t consider myself attached to any religious faction or devotion, however I would consider myself a believer in a higher power. You can choose to call it what you like, whatever pertains to your belief system. I have respect for all religions and beliefs that harm no one and help the devote along with others. I have a Bible but I am not an avid reader of it. I have heard stories of the Bible, but am not well versed in them. Christianity and God are the closest that I was raised around and so that is what I am accustomed to. When I say prayers I speak to “God” I don’t believe I need to be in church to speak to my “God”. I feel strongly that church is a source for community but I have never felt comfortable there. My “God” speaks to me in Nature, and in signs when I am going through my days. Sometimes not for long periods of time. Sometimes repeatedly through out a single day. I am a bit thick headed, and so I imagine that getting to me if I’m being stubborn is akin to chopping down a large tree. I need to be reminded to get my head out of the clouds, and continuously reminded to inactivate my tunnel vision, so I get the message. I find if you don’t look to closely at the world it tends to show it’s true colors eventually.
I was looking through my journals today as I prepare for a big trip to Asia. Well I guess they aren’t really journals but notebooks filled with scribbles of flight dates, places, notes, and a few longer entries that would be similar to a journal entry. These notebooks I have packed with me independently or simultaneously two at a time or so on. I found on this yellow spiral notebook at the bottom of the first page a message. Thinking back I remember when I wrote it that I had been looking at some books around my house jotting down definitions, places to google, and stories by authors I’d not heard of that had been written that sounded interesting.
One minute I was writing down one liners, and then I was writing in a manic tirade. Surprisingly logical thoughts that turned into 2.5 pages of a message that I wouldn’t have normally written. As if I had gone on a tangent about an important dire message. I don’t know If I was channeling for myself or to share with someone else. Perhaps for both. Here are my words verbatim. Take them as you will.
“The World will eat you up; hence why cats and mice can’t be friends. Predator & prey don’t have communal property, or common interest. Once the predator gets hungry toleration of the prey goes out the window and down the gullet! So are you which friend or foe? Don’t be naïve & be watchful of snakes in the grass. Words that beckon like nectar. Lips that call to thine eyes like sweet wine. Beware the pleasures of the flesh which throw a soft glow to the truly rough. Trust your gut not your eyes, or ears for temptations will lead you straight to the slaughter.
Safety in numbers forego being a sheep for the wolves will be hiding in plain sight, waiting. Waiting to play tricks on weaker souls. Remember most will corner the kind in qualms of self preservation & survival of selfishness, for that is the way of the World. Regression to being born as sinners and so humanity will do harm to one another in a time old viscous cycle, where basic needs of comfort are concerned. If man does not physically harm, be cautious and contentious of emotional warfare, in social & economic occasions. Trust that others will attempt to harm, and detrimentally impact your acquired treasures. Poke holes in your livelihood if given the chance.
These relationships that are not symbiotic can be parasitic or unhealthy in nature. Choose your friends wisely and do not hold blood any differently in standard. For people will do what they will; no matter proximity to genetics, for that is the flaw in the World. The ugliness, the greed, the wastefulness, the cruelty. Be Good but be extremely cautionary & analytical in your lives or you could be the prey at the end of a long day.
Tread lightly & treat prey as such, predators as they are; you will be above them both as the most advantageous resilient person. With eyes wide open to others true nature. A gold standard for skating around the competition while avoiding predator, prey mentality. A visionary leader to manipulate any circumstance to your benefit by being strong, in heart, character, diplomacy and tactfulness. Do not put on the heard pleasantries. Don’t accept less than you truly think you deserve from others, they will fall at your knees when their tactics of aggression, and intimidation don’t work on your God provided self worth shield. Do not chastise but look on them as weak and lacking proper tools. Pity their badness and smile upon them with grace, love, and compassion.
You will be yet stronger because of your kindness, all knowing, all seeing, more powerful than you know, for the greater purpose. Dampen your anger, for the evil in the World will thrive on it, set yourself free with forgiveness. Think candle, thine light in your being will be a beacon for the others like you, that have cast off darkness’s chains and now are free to walk about as they were meant to be. Born and reborn. Clear conscious clear soul. To do good work of that which provides purpose.
Do not be afraid to get bloody, scraped knees for the journey is long and imperfection is a sign of living and hard work. Be cognitive of distractions sent to lure you away from your destiny. When you are on the right path there will be many choices to make, and many false doors will be open to deter you along your journey. Look not with your eyes, but listen to your inner voice and the rhythm of the universe for guidance.
The path has been implanted in your being from before conception you know the right way. It will be disguised; use your all seeing eye and hop, skip, jump, it will be camouflaged and blurred inter-weaving your life with the paths of others to teach you along the way. Like turtles born far away, this life is a homage to where you are meant to be. You have not touched it before but you will know it as your heart strings will tell you with a resonance so strong you will vibrate & know you have made it home. Some will make it, some wont don’t be afraid; you are here now, it is your time to try. Everything will, and is as it should be. I have known this always.”
Furthermore in the top margin heading of the last page I scrawled two messages. Statements really. I don’t know which one should come first but have a feeling they are equally as important to the whole piece and to one another. One said, “You have the answers all along, but are blind to see simplicity.” The second said, “No one can give you confirmation of your life except you. The answers are always there. The Truth, The information. The Signs.”
A few pages later in the notebook, I found a Notes to Self on Quest of Life Page. My notes were a compilation of a few statements, lyrics from dreams, and observations from researching astrology. There were also some questions about my curiosity about the Journey of myself. Posing the question just who might I be.
“If there are no such things as coincidence then everything comes our way for a reason. In time. There’s a reason for everything. There’s a time for everything, every season under Heaven”- The Bible Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, The Beatles lyrics to Turn, Turn, Turn, Me Paraphrasing.
“Don’t look to closely at things, let the lines blur, look from the corner of your eye.” -Me
“So often times you find you’ve lived your life in chains never knowing you had the key.” The Eagles Lyrics to Already Gone. I heard this in a dream combined with Elton Johns Candle in The Wind, “You’ve lived your life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to turn to when the rain set in.”
“My mom said that I told her my name when I was born. I asked her how much drugs she was on, and she said none. She elaborated that when she held me and I looked at her in her head she herd a voice say, “My name is Miranda.” Funny because I hated my name as a kid and I wanted to change it to Rose or something else, but nothing else really fit. My mom also said she wouldn’t have picked that name and it was not one that had even crossed her mind.
Messages I heard before I changed my life and started traveling. “Stop doing what doesn’t make you happy.” I thought well that’s a great resolution how on Earth do I do that? I ignored the message, work got harder, my life became more stressful. Then I heard a statement within myself. “I want to be happy and I want to make others happy.” Again, I said well that’s just great, how the heck do I do that? I started putting up positive messages on the bulletin at work. I started listening to others more, and trying to listen to myself and stop doing whatever struck me as not leading to my happiness. Work was killing me and I developed anxiety.
I heard or felt an intrinsic message again over the course of trying to continue working a job I felt was making my life stagnant. “All the answers are within you, the tools have been given, I have to make the choice to pry the hood, & dig.” Along later with a sense that I must Go. Go where I didn’t know, but I just went with it and off I went on my adventure, because eventually I was forced out of work. I crashed my car. Didn’t die, but felt like something was trying to stop me. I got stuck 500 miles from where I started.
I heard. “You were born free, Remember You have known your purpose since birth.” I asked the question “Who am I?” The answer came as “We are who we chose to be, than I am everyone and no one at all. Looking for the right bed, the right shoe to fit.” I asked questions like why am I so obsessed with time? Time is conceptualized. I have a sense of urgency attached to my time, but am also a big procrastinator; which are conflicting opposites. I was always asking , “Where is my person? my “soul mate?” The answer came. ” When you stop looking he will come and you will know one another.” Still waiting on that one I think. although I did meet someone this summer but I was technically looking. Also he doesn’t want a relationship and I am leaving for the winter.
These are just some of the odd things I have found note of and most of them were in the last four years. Some might call this an Awakening according to online. Have any of you experienced strange and mysterious events or prophetic connotations that have you checking if you perhaps need psychiatric intervention? If so I would love to hear them.
I would like to close with the fact that I mostly feel quite sane, and the more I see the world, the more I realize that there is a true interconnected pattern. That at face value we are only seeing a small portion of what’s in front of us on a daily basis at any given moment of time. It is only later through introspection and reoccurring commonalities that we are able to connect the zig zag patterns of actions and reactions that circle around each of us, and quite often propel us into others whether for a moment or a lasting friendship. That we are able to ultimately formulate the view of a path being paved from points A to B and so on. These seemingly incongruent events that once plotted may bring to light our path to possible enlightenment.